fastforward.
My weekend’s been shbaang.
Friday night was spent in this place called Actors with a live band;- Uncles who play electric guitar and gets really high singing “Born to be Wild”. And the sexyphone saxophone Uncle wore shades the whole night. But the Blues that they played was pretty good.
After chilling with the uncles, proceeded to Timbre hoping to get a seat. And yes! We got a nice seat right in front of the band. Oh my, I swear my knees quivered, my heart melted and I heaved a long sigh when they sang Your Body is a Wonderland and Lips of an Angel. The vocalist’s voice was so …. umm.. nice? I don’t even know how to describe it.
Saturday was half day in the office and a nice lazy day hanging out with Jojo and his wakeboarding clique.
Had an aweshhhbang time catching up with a primary school friend whom i’ve not met in 7 YEARS later that night. It’s pretty funny how names and incidents come out so naturally. I had a ssshwelll time reminiscing those times so loooong agoooo. Primary 5 camps, the garden my “superior” class used to look after, the newspaper corner, P6 kids kissing in the washroom, girls who wear so much talcum powder, parent-support group aka KEPO parents…
Sunday after church was driving around to wherever that came up to our minds.
Of chicken rice and Swensen’s GIANT EARTHQUAKE!!
“Which flavour is this? Butterscotch? Ahhhh. nice nice Chendol is the best”
“YES!!! THAT’S THE ONE! THAT’S VANILLA!”
and yesterday, I slept at 8 pm and woke up at 7.45 am.
Aweeessshebang!
So my weekend passed by real quick.
I can’t wait to get back to drumming lessons this week!
Thank God for the happy times.
love,
L
tshirts.
i wish i was the one you’re spending your friday with.
and
i wish you were the one i’m spending my friday with.
and,
if only i can dig out my heart and show you the last thing i ever EVER want to do is to hurt you.
if that makes you certain about us,
i’d do that.
lyndel
actually.
patience
patience
patience
calm heart
calm heart
calm heart
actually,
i
miss you
i
miss you
i
miss you
i
miss you
i
miss you
i
miss you
i
miss you
i
miss you
i
miss you
i
miss you
i
miss you
i
miss you
i
miss you
i
miss you
i
miss you
i
miss you
more than you ever know.
lyndel
cake.
have you ever had those moments
when you want everything to end
and go up to heaven with Jesus?
and when you wish you can just burn and bury all these memories.
pretending they never existed.
and shut that mouth of discouragement
Yeah. This is that moment for me.
lyndel
weakness.
Love is like an onion
You taste it with delight
But when it’s gone, you wonder
Whatever made you bite
Love is a funny thing just like a lizard
He curls up around your heart
And jumps into your gizzard
Love is swell. It’s enticing.
It’s orange gel. It’s strawberry icing.
It’s chocolate moose. It’s roasted goose.
It’s ham on rye. It’s banna pie.
Love is all good things without a question.
In other words, it’s indigestion.
****
Slippery ice, very thin
Pretty girl, tumbles in
Saw a boy on the bank
Gave a shriek then she sank
Boy on hand, heard the shout
Jumped right in, pulled her out
Now she’s his.
Very nice.
But she had to break the ice.
****
I know one day I’ll look back at this time of my life and laugh it all off
CHEERS!
lyndel!
restored.
i’ve been feeling better
thanks
a lot
and I feel
dark clouds are clearing.
cheers!
lyndel
Protected: heartbreaks.
weekend
Been a rather fulfilling weekend.
With Ah Meng to start it off on Friday.
“Lyntell! Havoc lah havoc.”
Saturday was out in the sea fishing.
And I thank God for cheering me up with a nice yellow fish.
Yes, I caught a fish.
(:
Sunday was spent with the cell
And this You-Crazy-what?! burger with 3 big fat pattie that I shared with Jojo side mashed potato cheese as the side was superb.
I still kinda miss the old days when i just spend it lazily with Tootsie Roll.
And how badly i want to hold his hand.
Dear Lord,
Thank you for sustaining me through this season.
Continue to grant me the strength to wait upon You.
I believe You have a great plan.
I praise You dear Jesus.
In Jesus Holy name,
Amen.
love,
lyndel
snuggle.
oh how i long for those days long ago.
when i could just snuggle up to my parents bedroom in my pajamas.
and hide under the warm blanket.
and when my mom would rub my back with a powder
and i felt soooooooooo safe.
and everything was under control.
and nothing else mattered cos of the safety and security i felt back then.
dear Lord,
calm the storms in me,
bring me to the secret place where nothing else matters.
in the chaos,
in my weakness,
there I am restored.
love,
lyndel
a question.
sometimes,
right now.
i’m asking myself.
am I being too vulnerable?
am I too honest with my feelings that it’s causing complications?
uh.
i know i shouldn’t even be writing an entry about the boy i want to stop thinking about.
that’s very thing that’s keeping me in agony.
and that which makes me sound like a desperate girl (no. i’m not)
but.
i still miss him.
he may have his weakness.
he may make me frustrated at times.
but.
he still make me smile.
and the last time I really genuinely smiled was probably the last time we spent together.
i still miss my tootsie roll.
once in a while.
when i’m all alone.
cos he’s the person who’ll accompany me when I’m all alone.
dear Jesus,
help me.
love,
lyndel
saviour.
Waiting on God is going to worth the long wait.
dear Lord,
cradle me in Your arms.
whisper to my ears that every EVERY little thing’s gonna be alright.
EVERY
LITTLE
THING
love,
lyndel
He’s listening.
hush……
my Dear Lord spoke to me.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” Proverbs 3:5-6. NLT
bottles.
it’s so hard.
tears still come out no matter how hard i try not to.
why.
couldn’t I undertand myself then?
and why couldn’t i control myself?
i still cry every night before i go to sleep.
i still cry every time i run.
and i run to rid these sorrows.
why must my joy be short lived with this unsuspecting culprit called break up?
i had enough of people telling me it’s hard.
yes!
i know!
it’s very very hard.
it’s killing me subtly.
it’s suffocating me.
this regret.
this unexpected pain.
if i could chose, i’d rather have a jagged sword go through me.
a car run after me.
it’s really hard.
fiddle diddle.
I was a little irked at what I saw today.
A little too irked.
A little too irrespectful for my liking.
But I contained all these irritation after a nice long run around the tracks.
I don’t know how many rounds but ran non-stop for like 40 min?
And I didn’t even feel tired after that.
All these negative energy is so… energetic?
I’m so motivated to work out right now.
Get these muscles toned up.
A little abs here
A little biceps there.
Woo!
And I’m really excited at what God has in stored.
While I was in the office, I had this vision of backbacking from city to city with a map on my hand.
I see a beach.
And I see water.
WOOOOOOOO!!
HOLIDAY BABY!!
and and I’m so excited at getting back my musical blood within these vessels. bass and drums here I come back!
and adventure bug is creeping within me too.
and and and i need to be goofy with someone.
;P
dear God,
I know you have great plans.
And I ask that may You remove this emotional bondage that creeps within me subtly.
Grant me the strength to wait on You.
love,
lyndel
end of the week
1. Greet the security guards in “Good Morning!” with a smile! (check!)
2. Go to the office early and read Exodus. (check!)
3. Run after work on Monday, Tuesday and maybe Thursday. (check! Tuesday and Friday)
4. Meet up with Sri on Wednesday. (Check! replaced Sri with Sock)
5. Off to KL with Dhillon on Friday. (FAILED!)
6. Message Momma and Poppa that I love them. (check!)
7. Talk and dinner with Jojo. (Half half)
8. Pray. (check check check!)
So let me share with you how I accomplished the above with number 6 already been explained in the previous entry.
1. Greeting the security guards on my way to work was on Tuesday and the feeling was really good. Made my day when the malay security guard greeted me back. And on my way back from lunch, I smiled at the cleaner along Istana Park. Wednesday morning, on my way to the mrt station, I smiled at the lady road sweeper and she smiled back.
It really feels great to know that there’s someone who’ll smile back.
A smile or a greeting is like telling somebody “Hey! I noticed you.”
2. I reached the office early on Monday and read Exodus. Feels good to start my week with the bible. Lately I’ve been reading Psalms and I’ve been really surviving by hanging on to God’s word. Nowadays, the bible is like my ‘blankie’ I put it near my pillow to sleep, bring it with me everywhere.
3. I didn’t run on Monday cos it was raining. But my run on Tuesday was super shiok! I could feel endorphins being released from my being. Tonight, I ran 11 rounds around the track in 35 min. Gonna need to improve.
4. Sri didn’t message me so I went out with Sock to check out ION ORCHARD! Cool stuff over there. We talked. And I really felt so much better being with Sock. She’s been one of my constant encourager who’s not only words but actions by spending time with me during this hard time.
5. Didn’t go up to KL cos Dhillon needed to spend time with the parents.
7. I did talk to Jojo and dinner with him.. But with the cell group. Let me tell you that I miss hanging out with him. I miss holding his hand. I miss seeing his rainbow eyes smiles. I miss his hand over my shoulder. I miss biting his hand. I miss hugging him very tightly. I miss his smell. I miss his touch. I miss his mom. I miss his sister. I miss his maroon room. I miss Lisa. I miss his dad. I miss cooking for him. I miss sewing for him. I miss saying I love you to him. I miss telling him how my day went randomly. I miss sending him random text telling him he’s awesome. I miss shopping for grocery with him. I miss eating sushi with him. I miss bagel with him. I miss watching him play warcraft. I miss just passing time with him doing nothing. I miss just walking around Toa Payoh with him. I miss eating Thai food with him. I miss watching OC with him. I miss listening to OASIS with him. I miss listening to Forever Young with him. I miss meeting him after work. I miss hanging out with him in the fountain. I miss playing drums with him. I miss his hair. I miss washing my feet in his bathroom. I miss watching Saturday Night Live with him. I miss watching Who’s Line is it anyway with him. I miss watching Scrubs with him. I miss watching online movies with him.
and the list goes on.
i really do miss my bestfriend.
8. Pray. Yes I’ve been talking to God as well during this low season. And I thank God for all the people he had put in my life to encourage me. I know God has a plan. And He will deliver me through it. At times, I’ll drift into depression mode and regret of my actions. But there isn’t anything I can do about it. Either way, it’s gonna happen cos I believe it is God’s plan. And I believe that God’s plan is ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS the best plan.
Right now, while I’m waiting, I will serve my God.
And that’s how my week had been.
I pray that God will accompany me through this lonely weekend.
God bless you all.
love,
lyndel
Protected: today.
parents.
Recap:
Check list for this week.
1. Greet the security guards in “Good Morning!” with a smile!
2. Go to the office early and read Exodus.
3. Run after work on Monday, Tuesday and maybe Thursday.
4. Meet up with Sri on Wednesday.
5. Off to KL with Dhillon on Friday.
6. Message Momma and Poppa that I love them. (check!)
7. Talk and dinner with Jojo.
8. Pray.
This morning, I felt this je ne se quoi happiness bubbling within me.
I’m slowly understanding what God wants me to learn from this situation I am now.
Today was probably a breakthrough for me.
To other people, it is very normal to show affection to their parents.
But not for me. I don’t know what happened along the way while growing up but I stopped being close to my parents long ago.
I stopped being a daughter to them at some point. Like I was just a tenant in their house.
And lately, God has been prompting my heart to go back to them once again. Show appreciation, show affection.
It came a to realisation that I’ve lost them emotionally.
I truly know that deep down in my heart, I love them deeply.
At the mention of what they have done for me I’d tear profusely.
And today, I finally broke this wall.
I sent them an sms “Good morning ma and pa. Have a wonderful week. Thank you for working all these years. I love you both very much”.
My heart warmed up when I received their text.
I had to go to the washroom to let go of my tears.
And these were the very words I’ve been wanting to hear from them.
Pa: Thanks. Stay as sweet as u are. You’re such a wonderful daughter. Congratulations for all your great achievements. God bless you always.
Love,
Pa&Ma
Ma: Thank you! we love you too more than you know. God bless.
No other string of words can beat those.
No other love from humans can beat a mother and a father’s love.
love,
lyndel
monday.
Check list for this week.
1. Greet the security guards in “Good Morning!” with a smile!
2. Go to the office early and read Exodus.
3. Run after work on Monday, Tuesday and maybe Thursday.
4. Meet up with Sri on Wednesday.
5. Off to KL with Dhillon on Friday.
6. Message Momma and Poppa that I love them. (check!)
7. Talk and dinner with Jojo.
8. Pray.
love,
lyndel
refreshing.
i strongly believe this whole situation is in God’s hands.
and true enough,
‘No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly’ (Psalm 84:11)
This period of break will be an opportunity for me to refresh myself.
Understand myself.
And grow sooo deep in God.
Only then will I truly love myself so I can love others.
(:
cheers,
lyndel
change.
i fell.
now I gotta pick myself up,
wipe those tears, clean those wounds
and continue walking.
and these are the times when having friends is the best thing I can ever have.
and having a big sister.
hjfj
you’re still the brightest firefly in my jar.
love,
ljcl
when i grow up.
i think i wanna be a missionary.
and
i can’t wait to get my little new engine started
and
be ready to step out of this little shore.
(:
i want to experience being rugged again.
being crazy again.
being daring again.
being so confident with myself again.
and I’m waiting on God’s plan for me.
Yippee!
love,
ljcl
Mission for the month of July
get my self esteem back.
have something to look forward to.
make myself proud and feel worthy once again.
YESSSSSSSSS!!!!
adapted.
Elizabeth Elliot says she is often asked the question, “What can I do to get him to notice me?” Note carefully the advice she gives.
My answer is ‘nothing.’ That is, nothing toward the man.
Don’t call him. Don’t write a little note with a smiley face or a flower or a fish under the signature and put it in his campus mailbox. Don’t slide up to him in the hall and gasp, ‘I’ve just got to talk to you!’ Don’t look woebegone, don’t ignore him, don’t pursue him, don’t do him favors, don’t talk about him to nine carefully selected listeners.
There is one thing you can do: turn the whole business over to God. If he’s the man God has for you, ‘No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly’ (Psalm 84:11). Direct your energies to obedience, not to nailing the man. God has His own methods to getting the two of you together. He doesn’t need help or advice from you’
walk.
A couple of weeks back, Jojo and I were walking around the neighbourhood and we saw this.
that’s 5 kittens with the mom.
There’s a white kitten in between the two black kittens.
And there’s a black kitten in between the white kitten and the Mama cat.
Camera phone can’t really show it well.
This scene was very heart warming.
Tea after thai food.
=P
Jojo’s favourite toy.
Okay.
ciao
i like going hockey when Jojo is around.
love,
ljcl
hjfj,
ilvm
beamy.
it’s times like this that,
loving somebody and being loved is the best thing that can happen to you.
ilovemybestieveryverymuch.
(more happy news on my life coming up in the next few days watch this site! HAHA!)
love,
ljcl.
season of change
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
Jeremiah 29:11-13
Dear Jesus,
Thank you for this season of stretching and change.
We believe it will not be a smooth path, but we trust in Your unending provision of strength. You will not put us in situations we cannot handle.
All glory to You dear Lord.
Use us as an instrument to fulfill Your ultimate purpose.
In Jesus’ mighty name I ask and pray.
Amen.
love,
lyndel J.
wet.
The past few days and especially today had been one of the most agonizing days in my life
And I’m not exaggerating.
I hate it when I have my PMS and think negative thoughts.
Impulsively sending weird messages to my best friend.
But this time, I think my PMS had gone a bit too far.
I couldn’t sleep last night.
Tossing and turning.
Thinking.
Praying.
At work, my whole body felt so weak.
And my heart was palpitating so fast, I had to take a breather.
Somehow, I think everything is going great but me thinking too much is just endangering everything.
But despite all these,
I’m thankful that I’ve grown closer with God.
you’re still the brightest firefly in my jar.
love,
lyndel j.
Flickr Photos
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